November Rain Clintasha
by aworldiwouldlivein
Summary: After three years of working together and being just sex partners, Clint realises that he wants more. But Natasha doesn't believe in love. What to do then?


_SUMMARY: After three years working together and being just sex partners, Clint realises he wants more. But she doesn't believe in love. What to do then?_

* * *

It was just another mission. Budapest. Clear the place and get out. They arrived two days ago, and Clint has been cold and distant. Natasha had noticed but she wouldn't ask, she would wait for him to come out and tell her what was wrong. They sat across each other in a table near to the window in a small cafeteria. Clint was picking at his food, deep in thought. She was eating as she watched him. Finally, she dropped her fork and knife on the table rather loudly.

"Alright, spit it out, Barton... What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked a little exasperated by his silence.

He looked up at her as her voice stopped his train of thoughts. "Hmmm?" he asked rather distractedly.

"Are you deaf now? Clint, you've been silent for days... Care to share what's going on in that big head of yours?" she said leaning back in the chair and crossing her arms above her chest.

"I'm peachy, Romanoff... Leave me alone" he responded coldly, not liking her tone at all. He rolled his eyes at her and turned his head to look out of the window. It started to rain. "Perfect" he huffed.

"You're being a dick, Clint... And you barely want to be around me when normally you can't keep your hands to yourself. So, there's something going on" she insisted leaning forward in the table, never taking her eyes off of him.

He shook his head and said nothing, keeping his gaze in the pouring rain. Natasha huffed and dropped her head, picking her fork again and continuing to eat her food. When she was almost finished, Clint finally looked at her. "I love you"

She almost chocked on her glass of juice, spilling a bit and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "What did you say?" she whispered looking back at him in utter shock.

"I said I love you" he repeated calmly, looking at her right in the eyes. There, he finally got it out of his chest. She just kept looking at him, speechless. Clint looked down briefly before turning his head to the window again. Natasha started to gasp, scowling.

"No..." she breathed out and stormed out of the place, walking out to the rain. Clint followed her briefly with his eyes before going after her. She walked as fast as she could, hugging herself.

"Natasha!" he called her, chasing after her. He finally reached her and grabbed her hand. "Stop..." he said softly and she did so. She turned around, tears streaming down her face. Even under the rain, he knew she was crying. "Say something... Anything... Slap me if you want. But I can't help the way I feel and I'm sorry I was so stupid. You warned me, you told me not to fall, but I did and I'm sorry" he said speaking loud enough for her to hear him over the sound of the falling rain.

"For fucks sake, Clint!" she yelled as she slapped him across the face. "Why the fuck would you do this?!" she said pushing him and smacking him. Clint stumbled back a few steps before grabbing her hands. "Let go of me, you idiot!" she wriggled under his grasp. She started to curse in russian, not being able to free herself from him. Finally she stopped fighting and pulled him into a fierce kiss. He let go of her wrists and moved his hands to her hips, drawing her closer. She threaded her fingers in his short blonde hair, deepening the kiss. Clint pulled away breathlessly, brushing his fingers over his bruised lips. Natasha ran a hand through her hair and turned away from him. They've kissed before, yes, but this was completely different. There were feelings involved. Feelings she thought she'd ever have for someone again. Clint just stood there as she paced in front of him. Natasha started to walk again and he followed behind her until they arrived to the loft they've been staying into. She opened the door and stepped in, Clint closing the door behind them shortly after. He walked to the kitchen and took his wet jacket off placing it on the counter and leaning against it, his head between his hands.

"Clint? Where are you?" Natasha called from the stairs.

"Kitchen" he responded simply and huffed. She walked in and stood across him by the counter. He looked up at her, his expression unreadable. She whirled around the counter and pulled him again, kissing him hungrily but this time Clint didn't kiss her back. "Stop..." he said pulling away and pushing her hands off his face.

Natasha scowled at him and pushed him back. "What the fuck?! Why don't you kiss me?!" she said trying to keep her voice calmed.

He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Because I don't want you to touch me again unless it's out of love. Something you once told me, didn't believe in. But I can't keep doing this. I don't wanna be just a sex partner to you. I want more... I want your love" he said softly and walked out of the kitchen going straight to the bedroom to change his wet clothes and get some sleep. Natasha just stood there in the kitchen in shock. She didn't know what to say or what to do. It was true that she once said she didn't believe in love anymore, not after what Alexei did to her. But the truth is, she was scared. She had let herself be vulnerable and was betrayed. A tear rolled down her cheek and she closed her eyes as she realized what she didn't want to.

Natasha walked back to the bedroom and sat on the bed, on the opposite side from where Clint was laying asleep, his back facing her. Natasha laid her head on the pillow and starred at the ceiling, as she silently cried herself to sleep.

The next morning, Natasha fluttered her eyes open as the sun lighted up her face. She rolled over and noticed Clint was gone. She swallowed a gulp before getting out of bed and going to search for him. When she passed through the living room, something caught her eye. A note that laid on the coffee table. She grabbed the note and read it.

_Natasha:  
I caught the earliest flight I could've booked and flew back to S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, to give you space and time to think. They're sending you another partner, for my feelings have compromised this assignment. He should be arriving early morning. He has already been updated about what needs to be done. Be safe and, if you want, we can talk about 'us' when you come back. If you don't wanna talk, you can text it to me. I'll understand and never bother you again. I'll let you go if that's what you want from me. But just remember... I love you.  
Clint_

Natasha crumpled up the note and threw it furiously away. "Motherfucker..." she hissed and walked back to her room to get ready for the mission.

An hour later his new partner arrived and they discussed the plan and excecuted it succesfully. They went back to the hotel room, all tired and covered up in dirt and blood and a few scratches. But this was frustrating. This time, she couldn't fuck the pain away like she usually did with Clint... or could she? In an urge for touch, Natasha pushed her new partner down onto the bed and crawled over him, kissing him fiercely. The man didn't give any signs of opposing to what she was doing to him and just let things happen. She rolled the over so she laid beneath him. She tangled her body around him, leaving red marks all over his back and arms. He groaned and moaned and moved inside her, but it wasn't his groans, his moans or his shaft filling her and making her feel whole. Instead, she felt emptier that she ever felt before. It soothed her need for touch, but it wasn't calming and relaxing as she thought. Natasha jumped out of bed as soon as they were finished and walked into the shower, letting the water run down her as it hid her tears. She leaned her head against the shower tiles and stood there for a while. Feeling so guilty and so disgusted with herself because she slept with another man, even though she knew they weren't in a relationship, she still felt like a traitor.

Natasha and her partner had a safe flight back to the headquarters of S.H.I.E.L.D. When they landed, she made her report as quickly as she could. As soon she was done, the russian ran to find Clint. Natasha took a deep breath and knocked on his door. Clint answered right away, as if he was expecting her. The archer just stood there, holding his door open, waiting for her to be the one to talk. Natasha looked back at him and fiddled with her fingers. What were minutes in silence, felt like hours for both of them. Finally, Natasha swallowed a lump and spoke. "I slept with agent Jones" she regreted her words as soon as they came out from her mouth. Why would she say that? That possibly ruined every tiny chance she had to get him back. But back to what?

Clint blinked a few times as his face reddened with jealousy and rage. And without saying a word he slammed the door in her face. Natasha started to sob and leaned on her hands against the door frame. "Clint..." she whispered. Suddenly the door opened again, and there was Clint, looking at her with the poker face he knew how to make so well. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." she mumbled looking down at her feet.

"If I had known that pouring my heart out to you would push you towards some other's guy bed... I would've kept my fucking mouth shut" he hissed at her, clenching his jaw. Natasha lifted her eyes to him and pursed her lips together, her eyes watering. "A text would've been enough, Natalia..." he spat her real name. "...But instead you had to break my heart as it wasn't bad enough to know you didn't love me back..."

"I do love you" she interrupted him. "I love you, Barton..." she said and bit the corner of her mouth. Clint moved back to slam the door on her face again but this time she was able to stop it from being completely shut. Natasha pushed the door open and stepped inside the apartment. "I know I have no excuse, Clint. But sleeping with another guy made me realize that I don't wanna be with anybody else and- ..." she got cut off by Clint's fierceful kiss. Natasha wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and he pressed her against him by her waist.

Natasha hopped up to wrap her legs around his waist and Clint put his hands on her buttocks to prevent her from falling. He carried her to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed gently. "I love you..." he whispered against her lips as he tugged on her tank top to take it off. Clothes flew across the room, and they moaned and groaned as their bare skin found each other's. Clint left bite-marks all over her neck and breasts and she scratched the skin of his back, drawing a little blood from him. They both cursed under their breaths as he pushed into her, thrusting in and out of her sharply as she pressed her stomach against his, not wanting to be apart from him not even by an inch. Finally they both collapsed on the bed, panting and sweating. Not a word was said in the next five minutes. They just laid there, staring at each other as Clint stroked her back idly and she rested a hand on his chest. "So what now?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Now we tell Fury about our relationship..." she said softly, smiling tiredly at him.

"You sure you wanna do that? Don't you wanna wait?" he asked.

Natasha shook her head. "No, I've waited long enough for this..."

"And what is this?" he arched a brow.

"My second chance on love" she whispered and leaned in to peck his lips. "I love you, Barton" she smiled as she pulled away. Clint smirked and pulled her close to him. They cuddled and drifted into sleep at the sound of pouring rain, holding on to each other, neither of them wanting to let go... ever.


End file.
